Have you ever been with a shorty boot shopping? Let me tell you it’s not pleasant. I know this not because I went with a shorty but because I am the shorty. I am not oddly short, but I am more travel sized and compact. I am not built weirdly at all and my head is not too large for my body like some height challenged folks. I am just plain short. Being short is not usually a problem since most people are more than willing to help me with things like grabbing things from high shelves at the grocery store or picking heavy objects up for me. I like being petite because men like short women over tall women…if I may generalize. I am a pretty short person, not a cute short person and I have learned how to dress for my size. I wear bright colors if I want people to notice me and I wear black or brown if I need to disappear for a bit.
I own many name brand clothing and I normally dress very well, except when it comes to boots. See, being a total of 5’2 in the morning doesn’t lend to wearing one item of human finery and that’s boots. I could probably pull it off if I had a size 6 foot because the boots would be shorter and one would think someone my height would have a 6 foot, but I have a humungous 8 foot. If I could grow into my massive feet I’d probably be 5’7. Now, to look at me one would not think my feet were too large, it all appears to be in perfect harmony but it’s not. But I have finally found a pair of boots. I have found a of UGG knock-off’s and they are not just comfy but are the perfect height for someone that is short from the knee down.
My year in review was such a hit I am adding 5-10.
5. Kim Kardashian hooked up with Kanye West and created a whole new set of issues when they named their baby, North West. As in the direction, north west. I cannot believe they treated another human being so low as to name one something so odd, but then again, Kim has had several sex tapes. Why are we surprised she would do something so ridiculous as give a child a silly name.
6. Margaret Thatcher passed away. She was a great female leader. England births quite a few of them. She was an iron lady.
7. We learned, via the wise woman on youtube, that “Nobody got time for that”.
8. We were promised that we would know what the fox would say, if he could talk, but we were sadly misled. Apparently, fox do not speak. Darn.
9. We learned that Beyonce is part of the Iluminati. Shocker that people knew about the Illuminati.
10. Matthew Crawley on Downton Abbey is killed in a car accident the same day his son is born on the show. Sad and happy. Bitter sweet. I still can’t wait to see the show again. Corny or not.
2013 was a crazy year. So many fashion majors happened during the year and here are my top five.
1. Death of Lily Pulitzer Rousseau. She was a fashion icon in Florida. She wasn’t a fashion a heavy weight like Chanel or Dior, but was just as important when it came to fashion in the sun here. She created the quintessential Florida lady. She redrew casual and pretty with green and pink, and not just any green and pink, but Florida Sunset Pink and fresh palm Green. She will be sorely missed.
2. Twerking was invented by a naked horny Miley Cyrus. Twerking used to be called air humping and my dog used to “twerk” all over people’s legs when he was in heat. I am not sure how it became an actual dance move but it did….and now people are twerking…and jerking.
3. Duchess of Cambridge preggers. Was she uber fashionable or what? Think she shops at JCPenney? LOLz
4. Prince George was born to the most fashionable beautiful brit since Princess Diana. Cutest baby, eva.
5. Lance Armstrong admitted to doping….like that was a surprise. Personally, I do not know why it’s an issue because he didn’t use illegal substances and it was all willingly taken. Congress had lots of other things to do than nail a cyclist to the wall. For Pete’s sake you have drugged twerkers everywhere and someone starts attacking a man that was the mouse that ran the cycling wheel!!! Come on. What does this have to do with fashion? Ummm, my favorite form of exercise, thank you.
1. The monogrammed leather opera gloves in Southern Living’s January 2014 edition? They are fabulous. They are sold by Mark and Graham at markandgraham.com They recall the old Hollywood glamour of bygone times. They are not necessarily cheap at $199 a pair, but if you are in the market for a pair of kid gloves, cash shortages are probably not an issue.
2. Moroccan Hair Oil now makes a spray version and it’s a mere $9 a bottle. The oil goes on oily but once you hit it with a dryer or flat iron it becomes dry. Just be careful not to spray it toward your roots or it will make your hair all sorts of greasy. Moroccan oil smells much better than BioSilk and is a bit kinder to your hair so take a chance and try it.
3. Air Plant winter garden bowls inside. I live in the tropics and air plants are everywhere. During hurricane season air plants are thrown to the ground by the wind. It’s the perfect time to grab a few. I always pick them up and put the attractive ones in the trees in my yard, but I saw one creative gardener fill a large shallow bowl with a bunch and it became an instant inside garden for winter! Talk about low maintenance.
4. Anything Lily Pulitzer, of course.
5. William & Sonoma crocks. I was gifted a set of W&S cream soup crocks and I cannot get enough of filling them with French Onion soup, Vegetarian Disney Black Bean soup and even cereal. Love, love, love.